How to Get Over College Rejection Letters
Posted on February 05 2025
In 2022, the average acceptance rate of four-year colleges in the U.S. was 73%. Public colleges accepted about 78% of applicants, while private colleges accepted about 70%. These are just averages — some colleges have much lower acceptance rates, showing they are more selective in the students they admit.
Regardless of institution, receiving a rejection letter hurts, especially if you had your heart set on a particular school. In this article, we’ll explore how to get over college rejection so you can cope with disappointment, find alternative options, and emerge stronger from setbacks!
Understanding the Emotional Impact of College Rejection
Rejection can be devastating. When you’re rejected from something or someone, you may feel hurt, angry, sad, jealous, or lonely. It could make you feel bad about yourself and negatively impact your mental health. In some cases, you may even feel relief.
The good news about rejection is that everyone experiences it at some point in their life. With the right mindset, rejection can lead to personal growth, resilience, and a reevaluation of goals.
Effective Coping Mechanisms for Dealing with Disappointment
There are healthy and unhealthy ways to cope with disappointment. If you view disappointment, failure, and rejection as an opportunity to build your mental strength, you may find that future experiences aren’t as devastating.
Here are a few tips from Otterbein University cognitive psychology professor Dr. Robert N. Kraft on managing disappointment:
- Remember why you took the chance (i.e., applied to a college) in the first place
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Evaluate your expectations
- Don’t try to figure out what went wrong
- Reframe the events
- Consider probabilities
Engaging in self-care activities is another healthy way to manage disappointment. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do except to take care of your physical and emotional wellbeing. This can include exercising, meditating, or simply giving yourself a break. Practicing gratitude and focusing on the things you’re thankful for is another effective way to improve your mood after rejection.
Building Personal Resilience and Mental Strength
Resilience is your “ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change,” according to Merriam-Webster. When faced with a misfortune (like receiving a college rejection letter), it’s easy to get down on yourself. By building resilience, you’ll be able to recover from failures and rejections and move forward with your life without missing a beat.
The American Psychological Association provided several evidence-backed tips for building resilience:
- Build your connections
- Foster wellness
- Find purpose
- Embrace healthy thoughts
- Seek help
The unfortunate truth is that you can’t build resilience without facing challenges and change. When you’re lifting weights, you damage your muscles, but they heal stronger. This is how you build muscle. In the same way, experiencing hardship helps you become more resilient and mentally strong.
Exploring Alternative Education and Career Paths
While one college rejection letter doesn’t mean you should give up your educational aspirations, you may need to change your strategy and consider other options. Here are some viable options to consider after receiving a college rejection:
- Apply to colleges with higher acceptance rates
- Consider community college or trade school
- Boost your skills with an online course or credential
- Become an apprentice
Many high schools prepare you for college, but they don’t give you much insight into what to do if you want to take a different path. You can explore career paths that don’t require a traditional college degree by doing a quick internet search to see what’s out there.
Once you’ve explored some options, the next step is to see where in your community you can get the training or connections you need to break into the industry you’re interested in.
- Your local community college or trade school is a good place to start. These educational institutions often have affordable programs that range from a few months to two years. You may even be able to obtain your training for free.
- See if your state has an office of workforce development. Their website should have a variety of resources to help you see what jobs and apprenticeship opportunities are available in your state. They may even be connected with a workforce development office within your community that can connect you directly with local employers.
- Apprenticeship.gov is another place to look for apprenticeships.
Finding Emotional Support from Family and Friends
People you trust should be your first line of defense when you’re battling rejection. This could include family members and friends whom you feel comfortable talking with. This kind of support is crucial because it can provide emotional support and empathy, stability and routine, positive reinforcement and motivation, practical support, and relapse prevention.
Family and friends can provide the necessary support during this time by learning about what you’re experiencing, creating a safe space for communication, offering practical help, setting healthy boundaries, and even encouraging you to seek professional help.
Success Stories of Overcoming College Rejection
Rejection doesn’t define your potential. There are many successful people who were rejected from the colleges they applied to. Take actor Tom Hanks as an example. He applied to M.I.T. and Villanova but was rejected from both. He ended up going to community college, which helped shape him into the person he is today — one of the most recognizable and successful actors in Hollywood.
Other successful people didn’t attend college at all or dropped out before graduating. You’ll recognize Steve Jobs and Bill Gates as being some of the most successful entrepreneurs of this generation, but none of them have a bachelor’s degree. Similarly, singer and American Idol judge Katy Perry does not hold a degree, nor does actress Jennifer Lawrence or entertainer Oprah Winfrey.
These stories show that your success is not based on your education alone. When you combine resilience with creativity, hard work, and passion, you can achieve your goals.
Transforming Rejection into Opportunity
Have you ever heard the proverb, “When one door closes, another opens”?
If you receive college rejection letters, remember that even though one door is closing, it’s not the only door to your future. Nobody likes to be rejected, but each challenge, big or small, helps build resilience so you can face the future with ease.
There are going to be challenges in life far greater than college rejections. Learning how to manage your emotions and bounce back when the stakes are low will help you do the same when the stakes are high.
Next time you’re rejected — either from a college, or a job, or anything else — remember that it’s an opportunity to grow, and you always have the option to pivot. Just keep moving, and you’ll be well on your way to finding your true passions and achieving success.
The American Academy
If you’re looking for ways to bolster your college application or explore careers that may not require a college degree, check out The American Academy’s individual high school courses. We offer a variety of classes that will prepare you for college as well as give you vital skills that will make you more attractive to employers.
Sources
Selectivity: Acceptance Rates at 4-Year Colleges | Nacacnet.org
6 Strategies for Managing Disappointments | Psychologytoday.com
Building your resilience | Apa.org
